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March 17, 2013
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Forgive and forget...

Or forever

Regret. . .
Title: "Lonely Consequence"
Writer: Me! :iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
Genres: Six-Word Story, Non-Fiction, Human Nature
Music Inspiration: [link] "Don't Regret" by t.A.T.u (Contradictory? Yes.)

For the :iconsixwordstories:'s Word Prompt: Regret and the :iconunseen-writers:'s Theme of the Week: Regret.

Coincidence? Perhaps, but hey, two birds with one stone!

Lately I've been experiencing regret... Sometimes I look back and think to myself "If only I had done things differently..."

If only I had been honest. If only I had been kinder. If only I had been careful. If only I had been smarter.

If only.

But instead of regret, it is best to forgive and forget. Even if someone doesn't deserve your forgiveness, you deserve peace. I, for one, am always longing for peace with those I love and those who hate me. And if they do not want peace...? I won't be distressed; I'll simply move on.

Because dwelling on the past and trying to change what cannot be changed? It only hurts and makes things worse.

Feedback is much appreciated. Enjoy! :heart:

This poem and the writing (c) Me. Please do not use without my permission, thank you.
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:iconirideamagicalladle:
IRideAMagicalLadle Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You did brilliantly! It is both catchy and powerful!!!!!:clap:
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:iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Student Writer
I'm glad you think so. :D
Reply
:iconminninnewah:
minninnewah Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there, this is your requested critique on behalf of #SuperWritersHelp.

It is certainly a challenge to create power and impact with only six words, but you did quite well. The idea of regret is something everybody can relate to, so your readers will have no trouble connecting to this.

The words themselves are great just the way they are, but I am going to suggest some changes in visual presentation. I find the fact that each line of text is in a different format distracting. Using italic and bold are great ways to emphasize certain parts of writing, but changing it up too often takes away from its power and just makes it look somewhat haphazard. I don't think that with such a short text, it really adds to the piece at all.

I think it would also look and flow nicer if the word "regret" wasn't on its own line. "Forgive and forget" and "forever regret" have the same syllable count, so putting these into two lines instead (with the word "or" as a connector, a beat in between), would create such a nice rhythm when reading, especially since they already rhyme. Two rather than three lines would also give the piece a better sense of visual balance.

To be completely picky, you could even put a comma after "forget" rather than an ellipsis, so that the ellipsis at the end after "regret" is the only one, giving it more ominousness.

As I've said, you've done a very good job with this piece, so my suggestions are really just digging at smaller improvements. Great message, and well done.
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:iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Student Writer
Apologies for my delayed response; I've been very lazy! ^^;

I really appreciate you taking the time to write this critique for my six-word story, :: Lonely Consequence ::. I agree with the points you made, although I still liked isolating the word "regret" because it was the prompt for two dA literature groups.

Thank you so much for critiquing! :hug: :heart:
Reply
:icontotalkennedygal98:
totalkennedygal98 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is a really strong six word story... you know how to make a powerful message in just six words. <3
Reply
:iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Student Writer
It's harder than it looks, but so far I seem to be doing a good job. :)

Thanks for commenting! :D
Reply
:icontotalkennedygal98:
totalkennedygal98 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome! looking forward to more. :3
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:iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Student Writer
Huzzah! :w00t:
Reply
:icondelice1941:
Delice1941 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013
Nice 6WS on regret:rose:
Reply
:iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you kindly! Glad you think so. :D
Reply
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