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Poetry by nightshade-keyblade


Submitted on
February 8, 2013
File Size
1.6 KB


15 (who?)
How dare you decide what is best for me
When you don't know what is best for you?

How dare you assume negatively towards others
When you frown upon those who assume negatively towards you?

How dare you berate those who use people
When you find delight every time you use someone?

How dare you preach that death threats are wrong
When you have threatened to end my life several times?

How dare you cry that you were raped
When you have shouted "I'm a virgin!" with pride?

How dare you use homophobic insults
When you are apart of the bisexual community?

How dare you criticize people who hurt themselves
When you have afflicted scars on your own body?

How dare you despise having your heart broken
When you have broken someone else's heart?

How dare you abominate teenage pregnancy
When you have siblings who gave birth before 18?

How dare you belittle people for their low intelligence
When you show how much you don't know?

How dare you disapprove of someone's blunt honesty
When you have a very sharp and cruel tongue?

How dare you claim to be a Christian
When you are in love with Satan?

How dare you scorn the wicked
When you are perhaps the most wicked of all?

How dare you value the truth
When you have always been a liar?

How dare you pretend to love
When you have no love in your heart at all?

How.  Dare.  You.
Title: "How Dare You"
Author: Me! :iconmadxrhapsodyx17:
Genres: Emotional, Reality, the Truth
Music Inspiration: [link] "This Song Is About You" by Olly Murs

Human beings judge. We judge ourselves; we judge other people; we judge what we do and don't understand; we judge what we love and hate. We judge everyone and everything because it's apart of our nature.

Some people have self-management over the judgments they make. Sometimes we take into consideration our own experiences and try to understand what is different. We attempt to take into perspective the other person's feelings and relate to them.

But there are some people who judge with such careless fervor. They make foul, unnerving and ruthless judgments on what they don't like. Some of them even have the audacity to judge what they don't like, yet they take part in it. They say one thing and do the opposite.

If you have done something wrong in the past, don't judge people who have done the same, or do it now. If you have people you care about that have taken part in a wrong, don't hate others who have done the same. If you commit a wrong, don't scold others if they have committed it as well.

Feedback is always welcome. Enjoy! :)

This poem and the writing (c) Me.

EDIT: Fixed the category from "Free Verse" to "Urban & Spoken Word".
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shaymind Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
umm... i've never tried to critique works before, so... bear with me.

the phrase How dare you! brings to mind rage and fury, which is fine, but only if that's the intended emotion, if it's not, change it. a few are slightly... off.  this line in particular sounds disturbing and slightly jarring:

How dare you cry that you were raped
When you have shouted "I'm a virgin!" with pride?

this one is less so, but still, I/whoever is not my/whoever's siblings
How dare you abominate teenage pregnancy
When you have siblings who gave birth before 18?

it also comes off as slightly judgemental on second reading, though idk if that;s just me.
shaymind Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
oh, right, ultimately, i liked the work, but it's not flawless, though it is very good, probably a high school A, maybe a college A.
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"I don't blame you for your prejudices. Have you forgotten that we live in a world of first impressions and sideways glances?"
TheGlassIris Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hello, I will be critiquing your piece on behalf of :icongrammarnazicritiques:. I will do my best to help by suggesting improvements that can be made and general feedback on aesthetic appeal.

For the most part, this piece is too long. You should try cutting it, reimagining it with more interesting metaphors, and generally improving upon your use of language. The tone of outrage that the phrase "how dare you" implies also doesn't fit the fairly humdrum and prosaic word choice.

Specific lines that I recommend cutting are:

"How dare you assume negatively towards others
When you frown upon those who assume negatively towards you?"

It's far too long and wordy.

"How dare you claim to be a Christian
When you are in love with Satan?"

It sounds ridiculous and melodramatic.

"How dare you value the truth
When you have always been a liar?"

Being a bit of a dichotomous hippopotamus, here. In fact, the entire piece is an extreme spectrum of black-and-white morality. I find this kind of thinking shallow and simple-minded. I don't mean to imply that your personal character is so, but this piece is just "you're a hypocrite because you say this but you are that...". Needless to say, it's repetitive, mechanical, and fundamentally far too simple an approach.

Try to explore the gray area. Use metaphors. Don't tell me what I should feel. Show me something to make it happen. Otherwise the words fall out of the air and lay twitching on the floor like a kaleidoscope of half-wing butterflies.
And just to clarify, when I say general use of language I mean the whole array of writerly tools: vocabulary, diction, syntax, pacing, line breaks, imagery, metaphors, and description. Just because it's spoken word doesn't mean you can be preachy.
prettyflour Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there,

Prettyflour here on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition: with the critique you requested.

First off, I would love to see this read aloud. I think this would translate so well to Spoken Word.

The repitition of 'How dare you' gives an edge to the poem- it's angry, almost ranting, it's empassioned. It expresses hyprocracy with crystal clarity.

You've structured this well, I found it easy to read, and I thought the emotion came through loud and clear. Wonderful job!
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student Writer
I apologize for getting to this so late! ^^;

Thank you kindly for the critique! :glomp: I have contemplated recording myself reading my poems. Now that you've mentioned it, perhaps I should go through with it. :)
TheLunarDragon Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This Critique is on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition:

Wow, just wow. I absolutely adore the premise of this poem. I love how you've exposed the human tendency for being hypocritical. This poem is one that I think will resonate with probably all of it's readers, it definitely resonated with me. This was an original and powerful piece.

The only thing I can possibly Critique here is the category you placed this piece in. This piece stands out as more of a "Urban and Spoken Word" piece than true Free Verse. Beyond that, phenomenal poem. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and you didn't leave me bored with it.
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you for giving time into critiquing my poem! :happybounce:

I'm glad you really liked it. I felt it was necessary to reflect upon the reality of human beings through this piece. It makes me happy to see that others can relate to it.

I shall edit the category, post-haste. :)
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013   Writer
Another good theme. Often we are too quick to judge.
MadxRhapsodyx17 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student Writer
I agree. Such is the nature of humanity; sometimes we don't think about what we say.

Thank you for the comment. :hug:
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